My Privilege

Mother's Day is quickly approaching. I watched the below movie and she mentioned how being a mother is her "Privilege". I like that. Because it is mine too.

I can't help but think of my first Mother's Day gift. It's been my favorite as well (not counting my kids of course). On Mother's Day of 2003, when Bronson was 4 months old, Brooks gave me a "Mother's Day Journal". I'm supposed to write in it every Mother's Day, with my thoughts on mothering, the kids, etc. I pulled it out after watching this movie and smiled at the memory of some of the things I wrote down. I am honest when I write in it about the hard times, the good times and the tricky/sticky times of Mothering. It's amazing to see how I've changed in the past 7 years of being a mother. For example, here's an little snipit from each year to give you an idea. Sorry if this seems a little to personal for you.....reading my journal and all! ;):

2003- "I never realized how selfless the role of a mother is. I'm not saying I'm a selfless person or even selfless in nature, but you HAVE to be. There really isn't much of a choice. I think I haven't had a full night's sleep since November or December! That's something I thought I'd NEVER be okay with.......Motherhood really is a 24 hour job!....Motherhood is about sacrifice. Sacrificing your wants for your child's (and husband's) needs and wants."

2004- (I still only had one child)"...It's true when they say motherhood is the least appreciated and underpaid job ever. However, I also feel sorry for the moms who don't get to stay home with their kids. Their child only lives that one day once and the mom missed out on it. Bronson is constantly doing new things that I would have missed has I not been home. It definitely has it's rewarding times. It is extremely hard work too. The world sees the stay-at-home mom as lazy, non-educated and with a "that's all you do?" attitude. Thankfully, I KNOW who started all of that. Satan tries to get the world to devalue one of the most important jobs for Heavenly Father's children! That in itself shows how important it is."

2005- "Sometimes I feel I need to be more passionate about mothering and enjoy it more. Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of the time, I love it, but if I decided to do this forever, I really need to enjoy it all the time and count my blessings. My dad always told men to go into the field of work that they're passionate about and they'll be happy. Yes, they'll have times of trial, but if they love it, they'll be happy. Well, this is where I need to remind myself that I CHOSE to do this and be more loving towards my role as a mother. I DO love it though, sometimes it's hard to think though that a mother's work is never done...........I have been blessed with more patience this year. Sometimes I really think it has been easier having 2 then just 1."

2006- "I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day. I called my mom and she told me this, 'We are living in the reality, but the Lord can see the eventuality of what we are doing.' (referring to Mothering of course). I liked that. Motherhood forces you to become better and learn attributes and qualities we didn't already have. It's a crash course in becoming more God-like. There's no way NOT to learn them. It brings you closer to Heavenly Father because 1) he WANTS to help me raise His children, 2) it helps me understand His qualities more and 3) mothers are 'co-creators' with Him. In essence, Heavenly Father has loaned me HIS children to raise. I thought, if I had someone watch my kids, I would want them to show the same love and patience and I have for them. I'm sure Heavenly Father feels the same way for the children he sends to me."

2007- "Someone that knows me pretty well mentioned this year they think I enjoy being a mom 60% of the time. I was shocked when they said that because I always pictured it being 95-100% of the time. Sadly, they were probably right percentage part, but wrong about one thing. It's the mom + housework/bills/laundry/dishes/constant cleaning/always something to get done that I enjoy 60% of the time. The mom part is 100%!!! But you get the whole package w/ a stay-at-home lifestyle. Even so, even if I enjoyed it 0% and I was doing everything Heavenly Father would want me to do with my kids, it would be worth it knowing and having the peace that I KNOW for sure I'm doing what He wants me to do. Not to many people can say that. I'm where He wants me to be EVERY DAY, which if asked for, entitles me to His constant help and Spirit if my attitude lets it."

and I just had to add this paragraph because it made me laugh..... "The boys are my life, my comfort zone and my warm fuzzies in my belly. If this is how fun and sweet boys are------ I NEVER want a girl!" (I was pregnant with Aleeya at the time and didn't know her gender!)

2008- (This Mother's Day Brooks was gone for a week, I didn't get a nap that day, the house was a disaster and we had frozen pizza for dinner......you can imagine the "pity party" I threw myself at the first of this entry.) "I just put the most beautiful little girl to bed. Aleeya (6 months) brings me so much job and fills me with this warm feeling that makes my belly and heart jump. Gosh, now my pity party REALLY sounds ridiculous. What can I say....I'm human and selfish in nature..... I'm learning more about Heavenly Father and His parenting though. He is the ultimate parent and an example on how to deal with children.....As you can see, I guess I have the life. 4 kids, 7 years marriage, 27 years young and I like where I'm at......now I gotta go clean the ENTIRE house before Brooks comes home tomorrow. Happy Mother's Day to me!"

2009- "I got a nap today and kept hearing, 'It's your day, sit down!" Which I needed to hear because my body just gets plain tired with only having 2 weeks left until my due date......Now it's not all smooth sailing and especially at the end of the day my patience is thin, but I AM trying and I DO feeling Heavenly Father's help.....daily actually. I don't think I would ever forgive myself for not taking advantage of every second of their little ages. I'm glad I chose to not miss out on their lives and I want Heavenly Father to know I'm taking this stewardship seriously."

Before I finish typing this NOVEL, I had a few thoughts last Sunday as I was sitting in a Relief Society lesson on Mothers last Sunday. I'm at a different place now then I was 7 years ago (thankfully) and I couldn't help but think, I'm happiest and MOST content when I forget myself. I'm far from perfect in this area when it comes to being a mother and wife. But the times I get most discouraged and "bogged down" (as my mom used to say) is when I'm thinking what I want to do or get done and MY needs and projects. I'm happiest when I think of how I make my kids or Brooks happier. Funny how that works. Now, if only I could remember that always, because there isn't an OUNCE of me that would take back a MINUTE of the last 7 and a half years (my happiest years yet!), because it truly has been MY PRIVILEGE and I thank Heavenly Father EVERY DAY for the ride!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU!!!!!!