“He Already Has”

 In 2014 I was asked to write an article about why I chose to have a larger family. I told my friend who asked that I wouldn’t touch THAT topic with a ten (probably 50) foot pole. It’s sensitive, personal and definitely private with so many variables we can’t control. Plus I hate contention so I wasn’t going to write it. Then she promised me a t-shirt and it was a no-brainer then! Haha. I recently was reminded of the article and it’s interesting how I’ve had three kids since and moved four times. It’s also interesting how much I can learn from my former self. Anyway here it is is in all of its 2014 glory 🤣

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What is the number one reason why I have “so many” children?

-Because I grew up in a large family? I did, and it rocked! But that's not the reason.

-Because I've always wanted a cool 15 passenger van bought from a local Moravian church off of Craigslist with cash? Hardly. (Admit it, you're jealous of the van, I know)

-Because I just LOVE being pregnant? Uh, that would be a big fat no. (pun 100% intended)

-Because planning vacations in “group-pricing” is easier? More like, more expensive

-Because playing hide-n-seek is my favorite thing ever? Actually I get my greatest secret-treat-snacking-without-having-to-share during those games, but I digress.

-Because I like to provide my neighbors, everyone at church, Walmart and the post office (least favorite place ever) with free entertainment? The answer is STILL no, however it's slowly moving up my list.

-Because what early 20s year old wouldn't LOVE to change diapers for others for 10 years straight? Need I even ANSWER that?!?!

Hi, my name is Melissa. I have 7 children ages 10 years old to 10 months old and I'm 32 years old.

I recently read the cover story of Time Magazine on “The Childfree Life: When having it all means not having children” and it got me thinking. I mean, you're RIGHT!!! You CAN travel more, own more “things” (unless you were going for bunk beds and I think I have most people beat!), be “successful” in the business world and *gasp *, actually sleep in if you did not have any children. It's an article about those who CHOOSE to be childless and not those who simply can't have children for some reason or another. (big difference!) My decision to have the size of family I have has nothing to do with things of the world, convenience and of temporal comforts. It has everything to do with my Heavenly Father. I did not come to earth to fulfill my own purposes but to fulfill HIS purposes through me.

*The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” church, is a nickname and not our official name) has the stance that the decision to have and when to have children is 100% between husband, wife and God. Let me just make that clear. I was just asked to write on what personally motivates my husband and my decision. In writing about something so personal it by no way means that I am judging or counting children in others' families. I understand the number of variables that go into making a decision to have one child or ten children! Again, these are my personal thoughts.

The LDS Church teaches of a “Plan of Happiness” or “Plan of Salvation” in that we all lived with Heavenly Father (and his Son Jesus Christ) as his spirit children before we came to earth. We were then sent HERE to earth with three purposes:

1-  to get a body

2-  to be tested

3-  to become more like our Father

so we can ultimately return to live with Him.

 Is this mic on? Are you still there? What does this have to do with my 7 children?!?! I'll tell you. It's because I KNOW that there are spirit children up there waiting to get bodies and just waiting to become part of a family....... ideally a family that can teach them about Him and His love for us while we are away from Him. Kids aren't just created at conception/birth. Their bodies are, yes....... but their spirits have been learning, preparing and patiently waiting for their chance to get a body! (Have you ever wondered why your kids come with different personalities from day one? There's your answer) I am physically able to provide that body for them, so I choose to.... even if it gets trickier, less comfortable, inconvenient and harder for me to do so. His spirit children are already up there, it's just where and to whom they will be sent to that is the unknown to us.

 So moving on the purpose 2 and 3.

 Since the other reasons to come to earth were to be tested and become more like Him, I believe Heavenly Father knew by sending these specific children to me with their specific personalities that:

- I would HAVE to learn patience from them (some make me learn it more then others!)

- I would learn how to forgive better from my sweet-hearted child who is quick to forgive and let me try again the next day. On that same note, I'm learning to forgive myself.

- I would understand more fully how to sacrifice. How to give up my temporary wants for the betterment of someone else....true love at its finest.

- I would learn priorities. I would understand what TRULY is important and which relationships matter most.

- I would learn to judge less. I can look around at other moms with a sense of empathy and understanding instead of a close-minded judgement towards someone trying their hardest. Because each child and situation is just so unique.

- I would learn disappointment in myself and how to cope with it, get up and try again.

- I would have my weaknesses so blatantly thrown at my face day-after-day becoming SO obvious and repeated that they must be tackled and worked on through the help of my Savior Jesus Christ.

- I would get a MICROSCOPIC feel of love that Heavenly Father must feel for me. When my heart feels like its going to burst w/ so much love and fulfillment, I can't help but think of multiplying that all of His children. The love a parent has for a child is pretty overwhelming. Who knew such a feeling existed?!?!

- I would learn that even on days I feel used, tired, un-appreciated and worthless that I can kneel and pray to immediately feel the love and support of a Father who entrusted me with a few of His children.....cheering me on with gratitude for my willingness to keep trying.

- I would learn that I could succeed and be happy at any random thing, but my greatest happiness comes from seeing those I love succeed.

- I would learn that sleep is over-rated. (that's what I keep telling myself anyway)

- I would learn that the mundane tasks of keeping up a household and my attitude towards that will define my happiness for that day. I can CHOOSE how to feel and react about any situation even if I can't control the situation itself.

Basically, I would understand my role in this master plan is NOT about me, me, me.

When I look back on the short 10 years I've been a parent, I truly don't remember the hard days or the overwhelming sacrifice of it all.The things that stick out to me and make me smile are the memories we made, the warm hands I've held, the little bodies I've snuggled, the “You're beautiful, Mommy” comments when I make breakfast with no makeup and the bigger-then-life smiles I get when I show up to support their baseball games. The rewards from parenting FAR outweighs the constant effort put in. Whether the rewards come now or later (in a kind of law-of-the-harvest way), they are more precious then anything tangible here on earth. Period.

 I know if I live the most Christlike life I can and follow His teachings to become better, I will be able to live not only with Him again, but also with my WHOLE family.......... forever and always. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for that promise. Every. Day.

 So bring it on all the endless “You sure have YOUR hands full”, “are those all yours?”, “Are you done yet?”,“don't you know how that happens?!” comments here on earth!! I would say the trade off in the next life and the joy and fulfillment I feel here on earth is worth it.

A man in Walmart once shook his head in disgust after hearing how many children I had and said, “Well, God bless YOU!” I just gave him the biggest smile and replied, “Oh, He already has!” ❤️

Our family October 2020

1st Day of School

Moving to new schools (and consequently filling out 827 papers....basically) is always an adventure of nerves, excitement, anxiety and hope.

For Everly starting school was just PURE excitement. This is her at her open house meeting her teacher and seeing her class.

Before school started my oldest brother and Janise drove over to say "hi". (Chris now lives in SC). He always "ooooos" and "aaaaaaahs" appropriately for my girls

It's always fun seeing him!

Here are now EIGHT kids on the traditional IHOP-with-Dad on the first morning before school.

And HERE are the new students themselves!!!!!

Everly-kindergarten

(HER FACE!!!!!😍)

Kellyn- 1st grade

Royce- 3rd grade

Iris- 5th grade

Aleeya- 6th grade (MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!)

Emerson- 8th grade

Camden with his long hotdog fingers- 9th grade (HIGH SCHOOL!!!)

Bronson made it to the grade where you don't have enough fingers!- 11th grade

I get to stay home with the twins! Now that they are OFF to school it's time to do my yearly Back-to-school DANCE!

GOOD LUCKY IN YOUR NEW SCHOOLS!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Getting Settled In

Since moving to a place with more land and away from people, the kids are THRILLED to have so many encounters with critters from lizards, to geese in our pond (and an occasional crane), fish and FROGS! 

But can you even IMAGINE Royce's excitement when he found a bunch of MINI FROGS?!?!? This is a MAJOR jackpot for this boy.

I like frogs. Frogs and turtles. They are the animals that are pretty kid-resilient, they are fun to play with and then usually end up escaping back to nature. So it all works out. At night there are TONS of frogs here. Kellyn named this one "Lemon"

She clearly loves it.

Iley takes the frog love to a WHOLE new level. She takes her new friend in the BATH with her. This one had the sticky fingers and would climb up the wall (probably to get away from her) and the girls were even MORE entertained.

You know when you go to the store and there are "Buy 1 Get 1 free" sales? Well we got one of THOSE with this house and didn't even KNOW it. 

APPARENTLY when you buy this house and barn, you get the FREE cat with it!

CHECK OUT THE CAT'S FACE!!!!!! BWHAHAHA. It doesn't like us but Everly doesn't take no for an answer.

The cat DOES have a name now though. It's "Kristoff". Iley named it after the male character on Frozen even though the cat we think is a female. Whatever. As long as it keeps catching and eating mice in the barn I don't care WHAT the name is.

Speaking of barn.....this is Kristoff's home.

But Brooks paid/incentivized/you-get-the-idea Bronson and Camden to paint it RED!!!!!

I am SOOOOOO soooooooo excited. I think red barns are the dreamiest things!

 The only problem is that Brooks paid them per hour.....and these two knew EXACTLY how to draw out those hours. But who cares. It looks so good. Here's a before and after.

But really, we have ALL really enjoyed getting back to nature more around here. 😊

 It's not my CHOSEN outfit for him, but for ONCE it's so nice to know IT DOESN'T MATTER! There's not a SOUL around here to see or find out! ha!

(The kids had to wait about 2 weeks after moving in to get in the pool because of a MAJOR chemical/acid unbalance that I had to keep dumping stuff in to fix. Buying a home "as is" has it's adventures which I won't go into all of them. #blockingoutmost )

We had a wading pool still in the box that we found unpacking and Bronson, Camden, Emerson and Royce decided it would make a really good fishing boat. 

I looked out the back window and saw Bronson exercising with his ladder on the ground. He would do it and then let Wynn try. I could seriously watch this scene for hours.

Camden turned 15 on August 2nd. He thinks he's sooooooo big now and ready to pass up his dad in height.

The above picture looks like Camden just passed up Brooks but as you can see below it's still dead even. #poofyhairadvantages

We love Camden!

I'll tell you another thing we love......these new beanbags I bought so we can all have a place to sit for once in the TV room. Every time Kellyn lays down in it for even a few minutes it's LIGHTS OUT!

With more land I guess we "need" more tools. It's a valid point, but when you send your husband to go find a lawnmower and he comes back like THIS, it makes you laugh.

You see Brooks can't STOMACH spending money. It makes him sick! So when he walked in wearing a "TORO" hat saying he didn't feel to well, I knew he had himself a new Toro lawnmower. And how NICE that they threw in a "free" hat for the purchase. 😉

Well then a week later Brooks comes home from running errands holding his belly with THIS new hat on.

Yep, you guessed it, a bunch of "Stihl" stuff. 😂 The salesperson probably thought as he walked out, "What a SUCKER, he took all three!"

 The backpack blower is powerful enough to take Royce on a MAJOR ride. It was hilarious seeing him sway while trying to blow off the driveway.

Brooks took over the job (with his "free" hat of course) and I snapped this picture of Iley running to the pond with her lifejacket on.....and nothing else. Again, we clearly feel free here.

 There were so many projects done at the beginning with carpet, painting, plumbing, water heater issues etc. But I'm just glad when my husband put handles on all my kitchen cupboards. I don't ask for much. 

Another move

Packing up a house and moving is stressful, exhausting and basically the worst thing ever. 

And YET here Brooks and I go moving to our 13th house since we've been married.

There are only THREE pluses of moving:

1) getting rid of and throwing away TONS of stuff

2) Boxes are fun

 and 3) apparently moving trucks are fun too.

Brooks, Camden and Emerson drove the moving truck out to South Carolina to close on the house, unload and then come BACK for another load and all the rest of us. BUT when you have this many people you don't fit in the usual drive-yourself moving truck and it was cheaper this way (albeit ridiculous)

Getting OUT of our Arkansas home and trying to clean it spotless while 8 kids lived there was a nightmare that I shouldn't even document because then it is forever seared in my brain. Then again it's probably always lingering there anyway in my nightmares.

When we DID finally load up to get in the van I felt a HUGE relief. I had all the 6 quietest kids with me in the van. Just kidding, I had all the girls.

We stopped in Birmingham, AL to spend the night and then pressed onto our new place the next morning.

Look how pretty this rest area is in South Carolina!!!!! #wetravelinswimsuits

Brooks and I didn't tell the kids anything about our house we got. In fact if ANYTHING Brooks talked it REALLY down. Let's just say he basically had Iris thinking all the kids were going to be sharing two rooms and our home was one story and the size of a semi-truck.

When I pulled into our long driveway Iris was literally screaming. Screaming "IT'S A MANSION!" (It's not! But compared to what she was expecting I guess it would appear that way.)

Iris drew a picture of it right after we got there.

 We had a scheduling issue and the carpet people/painters weren't done yet, so the home looked like this when we walked in.

Yet everyone still unloaded everything so we could take the truck back.

We decided to go spend the night in a hotel the first night and enjoy one more restful sleep before the unpacking craziness begins.

And while the van's wheel came off while I was driving back from church (and needed to be towed and couldn't use it forever) and Aleeya falling through the ceiling in the attic,

I STILL will NOT complain! (Well, I did murmur at our lack of mailbox and no wifi possibilities for a few seconds.......)

THIS VIEW overlooking the front of our house brings me SO much peace!

 I don't think I will ever tire of it.

 AND the kids are thrilled to be here (except Aleeya who sometimes cries for Arkansas)

These two!!!!!!

 THERE!!!! The mat is in place. We've officially moved here.