My thoughts....

Here I go....getting on my soapbox

I've witnessed a few experiences 3 weeks back and I can't seem to get them out of my mind. One of them was on the road. I was turning out of a parking lot and an elderly lady was turning left into it. Another younger girl was coming the other way going straight so the elderly lady yielded to her. The elderly lady was in the left turn lane, signal on and doing all that she should've been doing (but that's beside the point). It's kind of a tricky intersection to figure out who as the right-of-way anyway. Then I heard this loud, obnoxious honk and I looked up and younger girl was just waving her hands and yelling at the elderly lady to "GO!" and calling her names. I felt so bad for that lady. Not just because she wasn't doing anything wrong but because we just don't treat other people like that....especially our elders. That situation did NOT merit freaking out and DEFINITELY hurting someone's feelings.

I witnessed something similar at church shortly after and it only makes me feel SORRY for the person being attacked. Plus, it really only makes the person freaking out look bad, to be honest.

I get REALLY tired of people not giving others the benefit of the doubt. I get even MORE tired of people wanting others to act perfectly when we as humans aren't perfect!!! For someone to think that THEIR way is the ONLY right way to do something is pretty narrow-minded. And even if it DOES produce "better" results, it doesn't mean you have to demand everyone else to do it.

There's something I've learned in the past few years and it is, Everyone is doing the best that they can. Really. They are. Because who really sits down in their situation and thinks, "I'm going to not do this well at all...and on PURPOSE!" Everyone goes through things and find themselves in situations and they really react, cope and deal with things in the best way that they can. Let's say, for example you HAVE been in that EXACT situation, we STILL have NO right to tell THEM how to handle it. That would be like me seeing a mom of one child and think, "Oh, I've been there before and they're not doing a good job at all and they should do it like this....and I'll make SURE to tell them too" Who's to say what is in their past, how much help they have, mental capabilites, discipline, etc. You NEVER know until you are walking in their shoes and have been through what they've been through. Now if I went up to a mom of 8 and asked for her advice on how she did things that would be different, but let's say I walked up to this imaginary mom of 1 and told her to suck-it-up and how it's not that hard and how she should NOT feed the baby this and that.....um.....a little out of line. Said mother of 1 would probably have her feelings hurt because in her world she WAS trying her best! I just don't think putting someone else down is worth having my two cents said.

It's like that in church assignments/callings as well. There are FEW things I do NOT tolerant more then someone bad-mouthing someone else in their calling. As if our way is the ONLY way things need to be done. If there was one way to do things, then we all would've been made in ONE mold.

Why is it so hard for people to realize this? I really believe that if we sit back, take a second to think before we speak, and think of the effects of our words/actions (is it REALLY worth hurting someone's feelings to say such-n-such....and did it make you feel THAT much better to get it off your chest and the expense of someone else's peace that day). Aren't we all in this together? Aren't we ALL just trying to do our best w/ what we've been given?

I used to get mad at people on the road a lot before I got married and shortly after. I remember someone giving me the advice to make up a good story about them (we also had a talk in church mention this same thought recently). So let's say someone sped past me and cut me off pretty good, I used to look at Brooks and say something like, "Wow, that girl in there must be rushing to the hospital because her baby is about to come out!" and we would laugh about it or "Can't have the birthday cake late for the surprise birthday party, now can we?" In that church talk our High Councilman said that we always tell stories in our minds in situations. Let's say you're standing in line at the DMV and the worker is rude, instead of freaking out, you could think about how tiring of a day that might be for them and maybe they have something else going on in their lives that is sad and would make them react like that. Or like the kid freaks out at home and in my mind I could think, "Wow, this child is SURE tired because he didn't get a long nap earlier". Or I could think, "Wow, this is the WORST kid ever and I think I'm going to freak out at it and show him who's REALLY tired!" If we tell ourselves a GOOD story about people in our minds with a little extra understanding, and sometimes it helps to give a possible "Why" they acted like that, then we don't react in a rude and un-Christlike manner.

It has helped in relationships that are a little tricky for me. When someone says something that I think was a jab or I TAKE it as a jab (whether it was or not) I try to think what might provoke them to say that, WHY they said it, what background they may have had to WANT to say it, and then I tell myself a good story about that person and try to answer in the complete opposite way. Yes, I think some people say things to actually BE mean and make a point, but there's a reason they do it.....and something else bothering them as to WHY they said it. If they needed to say it to be built up, understood or get attention, then maybe address THAT and help them feel of worth then give in to reacting at their not-so-good side. (And we all have them)

There is MORE then a golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you)......there's a better and higher rule......Do unto others have Jesus Christ (the ONLY perfect being) would do unto them. I always need a constant reminder of that myself in my life that's for sure.

Enough rambling......and I think it's about time to get off my soap box....because well, it's smooshed anyway. (Clearly from going on too long, I'm sure)