Mother's Day

(However my English-majored mom would NOT be proud of the "prouder" in the above picture. Please pretend it says "more proud" Mom, okay?)

With Mother's Day approaching I've read a lot or articles/posts/comments online about that special day. Many were uplifting, but I was actually VERY surprised at the number of women I saw that said they HATED Mother's Day. A lot of them were referring to church on Mother's Day. Now, I have many friends who are not able to have children and long for them. I can't even IMAGINE how heart-breaking that would be to want something good and have that be denied you!!!

However, the negative comments weren't from women without children......they were FROM moms. Many get discouraged and hate be reminded of how "NOT-good" of a mom they are. Hearing stories of other moms make them feel inadequate and down on themselves (comparing is an AWFUL thing to do. It will getcha EVERY time). Women can be SO hard on themselves. So they leave feeling WORSE and not-good-enough.

I've got news for ya...........there has never ever been a perfect mother on the face of the earth!!!!!

I'll admit, I think my mom did a pretty awesome job, and I'll be FOREVER grateful for how my mother-in-law raised my husband........but I've never known a mom to say, "I did everything perfectly. No regrets!"

Motherhood is CHALLENGING, HARD, full of ups and downs, but man, am I grateful for it. I believe that I lived with our Heavenly Father before we came to earth (and so did my children), and therefore he knows me better then anyone else. He knows my goal is to become like Him and be the best version of me that I can. He knew that sending these particular children to me would help that happen. I would like to think they were hand-picked just for me.

He knew by sending these specific children with their specific personalities that:

-I would HAVE to learn patience from them (some make me learn it more then others!)
- I would learn how to forgive better from my sweet-hearted child who is quick to forgive and let me try again the next day. On that same note, I'm learning to forgive myself.
- I would get a small glimpse of what my mother has done for me and can feel a sense of gratitude and "awe" not understood before
- I would understand more fully how to sacrifice. How to give up my temporary wants for the betterment of someone else.
- I would learn creative skills above and beyond what I thought was possible. "Creative parenting" is what Brooks and I always strive for, and trying to think of a way to reach, connect or teach a child a certain principle has been a unique and awesome challenge.
- I would learn priorities. I would understand what TRULY is important and which relationships matter most.
- I would learn to judge less. I can look around at other moms w/ a sense of empathy and understanding instead of a close-minded judgement towards someone trying their hardest. Because each child and situation is just so unique.
- I would learn disappointment in myself and how to cope with it, get up and try again.
- I would have my weaknesses so blatantly thrown at my face day-after-day becoming SO obvious and repeated that they must be tackled and worked on.
- I would get a MICROSCOPIC feel of love that He must feel for me. When my heart feels like its going to burst w/ so much love and fulfillment, I can't help but think of multiplying that all of my Heavenly Father's children. The love a parent has for a child is pretty overwhelming. Who knew such a feeling existed?!
- I would learn that I could succeed and be happy at any random thing, but my greatest happiness comes from seeing those I love succeed.
- I would learn that sleep is over-rated.
- I would learn that the mundane tasks of keeping up a household and my attitude towards that will define my happiness for that day. I can CHOOSE how to feel and react about any situation even if I can't control the situation itself.
- and I would learn that there is ALWAYS room for improvement and new things to learn.


For example....... I had to solo a double-header baseball game last night w/ the 7 kids. (I guess 6 at a time because one was playing). We were there for 3 hours (and then stayed an extra 1/2 hour to catch 5 more frogs). I have learned from the past which items I need to bring to entertain Royce and Kellyn. Royce had a few meltdowns and had to be removed and buckled in the stroller for a while, but I'm used to that......and was expecting that actually. I felt like I had a good handle on what to expect at these baseball games after going to so many.........silly me.
What I WASN'T expecting was Royce's new-found talent of flashing little girls. He did it once to his sisters and their friends and got the obvious response of "EWWWWWW" mixed with giggles and screams. He liked what he heard so he did it again just as I grabbed him to take him away. (Of course there were giggles from adults too, mixed w/ gasps of disgust)
This is one of those times that creative parenting comes into play in thinking how to prevent this from happening again because he's 2....and WILL do it again for the reaction he got ALONE! Realistically, I understand that I can't hover over Royce the whole time, and I KNOW how he likes to make people laugh. Soooooo  I'm just going to have to make sure he wears a belt everytime we go out so he can't get his own pants off.
See? A lesson that I NEVER would've thought I would have to face, and there I was trying to solve it.

Obviously a less-serious example of a serious thought..........but being a mom IS about progression and not-being-perfection and rejoicing in the journey of it. I'm glad I'm not the same mom now as I was 9 years ago or even last year!! I'm glad I'm more comfortable in my own skin now and a more developed person now then I was before I had kids. And that alone is an indicator that I'll even grow MORE over the years and I'm no where close to perfect now.

So for moms who "hate" Mother's Day, I say we need to give ourselves a break as women!!! You're NOT going to be like any other mom, because you haven't been given HER children.....you've been given your's......FOR A REASON! We need to rejoice in our imperfections pointed out to us in motherhood because they will ultimately make us better people. If that's too hard, REJOICE in your own mother and focus on her because besides all the lessons learned, she gave YOU life. Allow yourself to FEEL the connection you now share with your Heavenly Father in being an actual parent and understand that he "gets" it. He GETS that it's hard and understands your feelings of failure and also your triumphs. And MOST importantly, learn from other's mistakes and always put a belt on your 2-year old when you go out in public.



(now do yourself a favor and watch this 2 minute movie put on by several faith groups put together.......HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY)