- I'm a planner, and I've made a mental list of EVERYTHING I would like done before the baby comes. Part of me thinks, "What if I'm not DONE with all of this before the baby comes?!?!?!?" Which is silly, because the baby will come when it's best for us, whether I have all of Christmas, freezer meals, sewing projects, Primary songs taught, presents for teachers/neighbors, temple sessions, Personal Progress goals done that I want or not.
- I play scenario after scenario of "If I go into labor at THIS time, the kids will go here, or I'll call so-n-so, etc." Also, what do I need in their "bag" in case they go to someone's house, and do I have their schedule/school stuff all typed up for someone......
-I get a little nervous about labor, because let's be honest, I don't like pain. When my contractions always get close enough towards the end, I get excited wondering if it is THE TIME, but then right after I get REEEEALY scared and anxious thinking, what if this is IT?!?!?
I get a lot of, "But you've had FIVE OTHERS!!!", but I think that's WHY I get like this, because I KNOW and DON'T KNOW exactly what's coming!!!!!
EVERY labor/birth story has been different for all 5, so I really go into it, not knowing what it will be like, except I know there will be pain involved.
I'm not one of those this-is-such-a-spiritual-moment when I'm labor type of people! (However the moment after I feel it)
- I'm FINE with going overdue. I'm also not one of those get-this-baby-out-now type of people, because I KNOW the baby will come eventually, on his own time table, when his body is all developed and ready to make an appearance. With Iris (I went only 4 days over due), each morning I woke up, I thought, There's one more full night's rest I got......as opposed to having a newborn and NOT getting sleep. I'm also not naive to the fact that your body doesn't feel AWESOME after you have a baby. (Energy "high", yes, but physically, not always) All the nursing and healing adjustments really aren't that fun anyway at the beginning, so I'll take one more day of "whale=ness" to prolong THAT!
-And well, um......we don't have a name yet. :)
With all these things going through my mind, it's always kind of a whirlwind...... and you can imagine why seeing my date getting closer and closer get's me thinking WAAAAAAY too much.
Until I ran across this picture (while getting Iris' scrapbook underway.....finally.....thank you Personal Progress):
This was RIGHT after I had Iris and they handed her to me. I broke down crying when they gave her to me. Infact, I'm tearing up now remembering back to that moment, and it's pretty pathetic.
I was soooooooo happy. It filled my whole soul and shaking body. There's some part of me that just "clicks into place" when they hand me a new one, like I was missing this part of me all along in my family. One thing with having more kids, is that it has seemed to get MORE special each time to me and MORE miraculous. Yes, I was excited she was a girl (because we didn't find out the gender and I REEEEEALLY wanted Aleeya to have a sister), but that wasn't why I broke down. It was just so special and intimate. Truly an indescribable feeling.
I can still remember that feeling as I type this, and it makes my arms LONG to hold my little bundle of blue that I've come so familiar with recently (meaning, I could tell you the size of his feet, how boney his sweet knees are and how long his back is when he rests it up against my left side when we go to bed each night).
Now doesn't this picture really make EVERYTHING in that above list seem so insignificant!?
5 comments:
Wow! I can't believe you're that close! You're lookin' pretty awesome for an 8-months-pregnant speed bump (HILARIOUS costume, by the way. Mike and I laughed and laughed.)
I get annoyed by all that uncertainty too. That's one good thing about having to get induced from now on, I guess :) But you're right...it all just fades into the background when they give you that baby. Good luck with the name! Names are so tough...Mike and I never agree on anything.
Really?! You're almost due?! That was fast! How I wish I could hold that baby. I'm baby hungry, just not for my own. I'm right there with you on the enjoy-every-minute-they-stay-in-there. Those last few weeks I wake up every morning and give thanks for a full nights sleep. I try to enjoy every single one of them since I'm about to say good bye to them for a while.
It's amazing how fast pregnancies go when I'm not the one pregnant!! Super fun! I wish I were closer to bring a VERY yummy dinner after you deliver! Good luck. We'll watch for pictures.
I am doing the same things! Especially about my to-do list. I've already addressed all our envelopes for our Christmas cards and have made plans to make at least one freezer meal a week this month. And I wake up in the middle of the night (you know, to pee) and then lay there thinking about things that can probably wait until three months after the baby comes. Like washing crib bedding. Good luck with names! We still have no middle name; apparently we are both stubborn mules.
Melissa you are great!!!! What a beautiful post! There really is something amazing about holding a sweet new baby and I think, no I know that Heavenly Father made it that way, becasue I 'm not sure we would go through labor if it wasn't that way!! I can take your kids whenever you go into labor!!!!!!!!!!!!
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