I have a certain child, (in order to protect her privacy, I'll just call her "Shmaleeya") who WITHOUT FAIL does a certain something everytime I hand out snacks.
For example, let's pretend I usually only give 3 crackers. But THIS time I decided to be OVERLY generous and give her FIVE WHOLE CRACKERS. Shmaleeya will ALWAYS give me a smile and act super grateful.
Then IMMEDIATELY she turns around to look at everyone else's piles of crackers to see how much they got.
Sometimes I even see Shmaleeya's mouth moving as she counts to herself the crackers in everyone else's piles. If someone has more she'll quickly point it out/whine about it whereas BEFORE she was OVERJOYED at my generosity. It always bothers me a little and at times make me want to say,
"Can't you just be GRATEFUL?!?!?"
I was laying in bed last night thinking about this.
A bid on a house that we submitted at the first of the month wasn't accepted. Which was fine at first because we don't NEED to move and we're fine where we're at. But I couldn't help but think how clean and new that house was.....that the ceiling wasn't about to cave in after every rainstorm, that every room wasn't in CONSTANT need of air fresheners for lack of opening windows and that house probably didn't need me to constantly be spreading monster insecticide all over around the house.....and if we just had a little more money then then then then ___________
I'm EXACTLY like Shmaleeya.
I remember wishing for something else/looking around at others sometime this month and then watching a news clip on the computer of some women in Syria and their conditions. I IMMEDIATELY felt shamed because I truly have been given so much........compared to them. Not JUST my home, but my family, country, faith, health, my ever-supportive husband, Brooks' job, my children, etc etc.
So there I was sitting at this hypothetical table of crackers. Me with my 5, looking at the person with 7 next to me..........but also being grateful I wasn't the one with 1 cracker.
So I became MOMENTARILY "grateful" just because I didn't have one cracker?!?!
That sounds like a back-handed grateful approach if I've ever seen one and I don't believe that is TRUE gratitude. Gratitude has NOTHING TO DO with comparing or looking around. Actually doing that ROBS you of true happiness. (Once again, think of Shmaleeya)
It's really about YOU, the GIVER and your figurative 5 crackers. Period.
The Lord has promised, “He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious” (D&C 78:19). Gratitude is an uplifting, exalting attitude. People are generally happier when they have gratitude in their hearts.
Another excerpt from lds.org said,
As we cultivate a grateful attitude, we are more likely to be happy and spiritually strong.
"Spiritually strong"?!?!? UN-gratitude has a direct correlation to my spirit?!?!?
And um.....well.......THAT alone makes me want to buck up! Like now.
(Whenever I use that expression it always reminds me of what my dad used to say when I was younger,
"Shape up or Ship out".)
And well....... I don't plan on shipping out.
Now to get Shmaleeya to understand this......................
5 comments:
A lovely and thought-provoking post. Thanks for sharing! It's amazing how those "five crackers" multiply when you remember to be grateful for every little blessing you take for granted, things like breathing freely and smelling clean baby and being able to walk without pain, etc, etc.
Love this--a VERY good reminder. Thank you, as always!
This reminds me of one of my fav quotes, too, which I repeat in my head when I am feeling discouraged:
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt
Great post! I've had to remind myself of this when we bought our house. A couple of my friends were builing/buying NICE homes at the same time and sadly I felt some envy. And to switch gears, I was getting stressed out about fixing up the house and wanting to complain about it. Then I remembered that it was our choice to fix it up. The house was fine how it was, and it's a luxury to be able to switch stuff out. Anyway, my new perspective that I had chosen what we were doing, really helped. Sorry about not getting the house though! Are you still looking for one or will just wait for now?
Great lesson! I catch myself doing this all the time and I'm constantly reminding myself of all that I have been blessed with - because I really have been blessed! Thanks for the reminder!
Yes, you are a very blessed lady!! It's ok to feel disappointed sometimes too. Sometimes that's the way to help us gain a new perspective--and you have! Things will work out for you!! And you're right...houses and such don't matter, but all the other things you're grateful for do. Sending prayers your way!!
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