First Week

The morning after the twins were born I was up around 5 or 6 anyway. Our family reads scriptures at 6 a.m. so we decided to see if the kids would notice anything different about me. (They had no idea I was actually going to HAVE the babies the night before) They were all sleepy laying on the couches waiting for it to start and I walked in with my belly still pretty big. Obviously it wasn't AS big as it had been (I DID just lose 26 pounds since they last saw me. haha) but still definitely looked "pregnant". 

No one noticed until I walked past Camden and he sat up fast and said, "Did you have the babies last night?" I grabbed my big belly and said, "Does it LOOK like I had the babies?!"

"YES!!!!!"

Then they all ran into my room and found these two fast asleep in the port-a-crib. Here are their faces.

THEN the passing around occurred. This picture pretty much sums up their first encounter with their older siblings.....and a good summary of their WHOLE life so far.

The very proud oldest sister (with Iley).... but her name was still "Unknown" at the time

Iris and Iley

Emerson: "What's her name?"

"It's Wynn"

"That's not even a name. But oh well."

Here is Emerson and Wynn....the name that really isn't a name apparently.

Bronson has held a lot of babies in his lifetime and I love what a good big brother he is.

Speaking of, Bronson has to give a talk in church this month on "Why I love my Family". (I'm OOOOOH so curious to hear what he says!) He gave us the introduction of his talk and in it he said  at school  people ask him how many siblings he has (expecting the 1 or 2 answer) and he tells them 9. Apparently no one believes him. Then he tells them everyone's name and then they finally believe him. haha. 

It's hard being the oldest in a circus.

Royce.....still in his church shirt from the day before #dontjudge #IwasinLABOR....... with "Unknown"

Wynn, Camden.....and his bed-head

Shell-shocked.

You are NO longer the baby Everly, SORRY!!!!

8 crazy kids crowding two newborns. 

They have been officially welcomed.

You would THINK that having two babies would be enough.....but I guess when there are THREE kids at home during the day and only TWO babies, that SOMEONE is going to be baby-less.....and throw a fit.

While the kids were gone at school and Brooks quarantined me and the twins in my room I decided to do what every mom that needs to rest does...... she poses her girls for a picture of course.

Aren't they cute?

Wynn in the white bow and "Unknown" in the pink.

I sat and tried to figure out the whole feeding-at-the-same-time thing. (I really hate nursing at the beginning!!!!) They both usually ended up snuggling and sleeping after.

They DID start out super hungry though and sucking their hands...... they just look so identical to me. 

There was a small difference though in that Iley had chubbier cheeks and Wynn's nose was a tad crooked if you look at it in the right angle.

Actually, while resting in my room I couldn't help but be surprised at how DIFFERENT the recovery was with the twins. It seriously was NO JOKE. Everything was fine in the "birthing area" and emotionally and hormonally I felt great...and FINALLY normal. I even breathed and and curled up in a ball better! But I guess if your body is blown out to crazy sizes it has never been it will ACHE (to HIGH heaven) because you now have nothing to hold up the flab and loosened muscles. My stomach, sides and back fat hurt SO bad that I had to wrap myself really tight in what USED to be my belly belt. I didn't even have uterine cramps worth noting but my belly fat just hurt!
AND I started swelling. (actually I stayed swollen for the whole first week) I even had to take off my wedding ring that I never had to take off during pregnancy. And my toes looked like little sausages. So weird.

ANYWAY......When the kids got home from school Camden busted through the door yelling, "I get to hold Wynn!" with Emerson behind him, "I get to hold Unknown!"
bwhahaha.

"The babies" even brought them all gifts. Yes, we bribe for love and acceptance here. (Emerson still holding Unknown. :) )

That afternoon Brooks came home from running something to work and told the kids about the name Iley. That was the VERY first time I had heard of that name. The kids liked it better then the other names he told them, they took a vote and Iley won. So that was that. Iley FINALLY had a name.

Aleeya got her treat for winning the guessing competition when the twins would arrive and she was THRILLED

They asked me to take pictures of them with the babies for me to email to their teachers at school.

This picture is lovely......Iley gets a headlock from Everly, but still it was emailed to their teachers.

Emerson wanted a picture holding both of them. He's clearly a proud older brother.

One more feeding on my HUGE twin-nursing pillow before bed. They fell asleep exhausted after.

Our first FULL night with the twins I sent Brooks out on the couch so I could have the room to myself with the girlies. It doesn't do us ANY good to have both parents tired the next morning! I actually had high hopes that they would do just as well as the did the night before right after birth.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!!

I laid them down and riiiiiight as I was falling asleep (isn't that when it ALWAYS happens?!) Wynn woke up and was just mad. I nursed her and snuggled her and rocked her thinking how just 24 hours ago it was just me and her working together. It was kind of a sweet moment. Then Iley woke up as I laid sleeping Wynn down. 

I did the same thing with Iley and treasured that one-on-one time even though I had heard from EVERY twin-mom to keep them on the same eating schedule or you will be dead. 

After snuggling and sticking her back down Wynn woke up, then Iley again. Then it was kind of a Rinse-Wash-and-Repeat type thing. Then they were both crying but for NOTHING. I had fed them, changed them, snuggled and there was nothing to calm them down. 

All I could picture was that scene in Nacho Libre with those two midget wrestlers. And how they would tag-team the other one to go start the smack down. I was totally being tag-teamed....BY LITTLE PEOPLE!

It was 3:52a.m. when I felt my nose start stinging. 

The sign that the tears were about to start.

Then I thought, "WHAT?! The FIRST night and you can't even handle it?!?!?! You're going to let one day old babies BEAT you and show you who's boss?!?!"

Then I put on my big girl panties (actually it was closer to a diaper, but I digress) and just dealt with it. Calmed one down and then I could calm the other down.

The next morning Brooks came in to shower before scripture reading and asked how my night was. All I could mumble was, "They double-teamed me...."

 When I finally was awake in the morning I went searching for the binkis I had bought a while ago.

And WHATDOYAKNOW...... they sucked them perfectly and held them in by themselves. I've actually NEVER had babies take to binkis like they had. I should've sat there and thought it was so cute.....

But all I could think was, 

WHERE THE HECK WERE THESE LAST NIGHT?!?!?

We assigned Wynn the purple binki and Iley the pink one. This way we knew who was a littler faster.

Because without a binki showing in the picture, it's hard to tell who it is. Like this one...... I have ZERO clue who Brooks is snuggling here. 

Is there ANY better feeling then a baby asleep and snuggling on your chest?!?!?

Yep. 

Actually there IS.

It's TWO babies snuggling asleep on your chest!!!!!!

Bronson took the above picture and I DIED when I saw it. I had no idea their little hands were touching. It's like their holding hands!!!!!! So, so PRECIOUS.

They really are kind of like a double dosage of heaven in home.

I tried really hard to keep capturing their newborn chubby cheeks and all those tender moments. 

(Wynn on the left, Iley on the right)

I couldn't always sucessfully feed them at the same time, but I DEFINITELY could snuggle them at the same time. I know it won't be long when I can't fit both in my arms at the same time and I will probably cry when that happens.

Not that I'm usually short on arms wanting to hold them. Someone is ALWAYS asking.....and when they're done holding the baby, I might find the baby being "held" by something else.

(again, no binki showing, not sure which baby this is)

It's funny when they use eachother to hold their binki in. I find them always leaning in their heads towards each other. Such a sweet bond already.

I still can't figure the best way to do things. Here I am trying out the burping two at a time method....which doesn't really work. I DID master the nurse one while burping the other thing though.

Every baby (or babies) have their "witching hour" and my girls just happen to NOT like the 9-10pm time. It happened to be during a NBA game and while they were watching it on the laptop Bronson got Iley to FINALLY calm down by walking around doing some bouncing thing. I didn't even ask him to hold her, but he was the only one that could calm her down that night.

Brooks was home two days with me before he had to go back to work but he promised the ladies there that he would bring the babies by. When they were four days old he took the twins like this to work.

Next thing I know, I get a text from him asking "Which one is which?" 

BWHAHAHA.

He had zero clue. I had to tell him that Wynn had the purple binki and Iley the pink and to NOT take them off. I'm sure the ladies at work got a kick out of that.

Shortly after Brooks headed off for a Friday-Saturday Man's Trip to kayak down a river for a few days. We assumed the babies would come earlier so didn't see a problem with him going. Then with the babies being born that week Brooks wasn't going to go, but I made him. He NEVER does this stuff and I know he was looking forward to it.
I'm SO glad he went, he seriously had a BLAST.

He came home late Saturday night around 11. With early morning church the next day with 8 kids by himself he came home pooped. All he really wanted to do was come home and have a newborn lay on his chest for a quick nap...... I had the other one on my chest. It was the best.

Thankfully Sunday was the first day I woke up and started feeling normal and my body didn't hurt. The swelling had gone down too. I couldn't help but think, "That was fast!" as far as getting back to feeling at a functioning level. I also thought, maybe Heavenly Father allowed my body to have a fast (but FURIOUS) horrible time after birth so I can be ready and productive in helping for the move coming up at the end of the month.

THEY'RE HERE!!!!!

So BEYOND thrilled (and relieved) to introduce:

WYNN MARY and ILEY MAY

7lbs 4oz and 7lbs 6oz

Born May 23rd......ish.....at 39 weeks and 6 days gestation.

So I just spoiled the ending. They arrived. The following are most of the details leading up to it....and everyone knows I don't tell short stories so feel free to quit reading anytime.
Plus, it's taken me a while to decide WHAT to share and what not to. Opening up so raw-ly feels very vunerable especially about an experience when you are AT your most vunerabililty. On top of that, these two little girls are absolutely yummy. I snuggle them both at the same time, but most of the time I just like grabbing one and throwing my nose in her neck while our breathing blends in sync. Sitting down with my laptop hasn't happened much, but getting this written down soon I realize helps me remember it better. So here goes.....

There have been a FEW times this month I thought I was in labor.....I sound like a first-time mother I know. The day before Mother's Day Brooks even hooked up to three rounds of penicillin (for the group B strep)

We pumped up the birth tub and shower-curtained/water proofed our bed for birth as well

(Note: I've always wanted to TRY a water birth. I like trying new things....I mean you only have a select number of times to birth babies! I've done epidurals, natural in the hospital, hypnobirthing, at-home with just me and Brooks to name a few.  And they were all great experiences. However, I knew that if I did a water birth it would NOT be in a hospital setting with 4+ people I just met around me watching me act out a natural child birth in ways only my body tells me how. No thank you. I've learned if I'm going natural, it will be at home.)

We were ready! Then 7 hours later, everything stopped. And I hadn't progressed past a 3. The first baby's head was still up too far (station -3) and not even centered.

I really was shocked. And frankly worn out. Then we Smiths did what we do best, create a competition where there will be a winner and losers! :) Everyone made their guesses as to when the girls would be born..... with a candy prize of course. I didn't guess, but if I did I would've said earlier then all those dates.

CLEARLY we thought they were coming earlier. We actually all kinda laughed to ourselves when Aleeya picked the 20th so FAR out in advance.

Every morning I would wake up shocked and think, "What?!?! I'm STILL pregnant?!?!"

Then 38 weeks came. Knowing that more then HALF of twins (60-ish%) are born before 37 weeks, I realized making it to 38 was cool....and ridiculous all in one.....or two as the case may be.

Then 39 weeks.

What a crazy and lonely time for me it felt. Lonely because personal revelation CAN be awfully lonely. I felt like I was stuck between two worlds and then my own emotional mind trying to calm itself. One world of my midwives saying my body is doing great, babies will come when ready they will get into position and we keep waiting.....even to 60 weeks! Just kidding they didn't say that. (all I could think about was our move coming up). Then other twin moms (by the hundreds) saying how THEIR doctors said it's unHEALTHY for twins to go past 37 weeks and so just schedule an induction or c-section because there's going to be complications anyway. Was I being irresponsible keeping them in? Letting them cook? Thankfully Brooks has the training in the medical world but more importantly worthily holds the priesthood. So all I could go by was how I felt during blessings he would give me and when I would pray I felt peace that things would "work out" and Heavenly Father knows me and my situation personally and will give me revelation for it.

That did not mean that we didn't try to help things along though........ on our 15th Anniversary (May 18th.... YAY Happy Anniversary to us! #bestdecisionIevermade) I started the morning with a good ol' dose of castor oil. During the day I told Brooks (I'm a bossy patient) to strip the membranes and also insert a cervical softening pill. This was GOING to happen......if it was ready.

Well, things definitely started happening.

This (was going) to be my last belly shot.

I shipped off the kids to a friend's house, Brooks came home early and we enjoyed our Anniversary alone at home. We went on walks keeping the painful contractions going. 

And theeeeeeeeeeeen, that night around 9 they stopped.

The first baby still had not moved or centered her little head, nor had she descended. 

*SOME* may think it was a ploy of mine to have my Anniversary alone with Brooks and although it was nice, it didn't quite end as I thought.....with babies.

Thankfully the next day there wasn't ONE single contraction. My body couldn't handle another one. It was sore as it was. I couldn't help but think, "Sure my body can birth single babies but maybe it CAN'T do twins! or the babies are in a position where one wouldn't budge? And now they're getting bigger?!?! And Brooks has FOUR days off in a row coming up and I'm gonna use it sitting on my fatness watching him pack up our house for the move?!?!"

Then I had to go back to my prayers. How I felt that in time, things will be just everything we prayed for.

It doesn't mean I didn't use my condition to my advantage though, and just go park my car in the Pregnant parking at Bi-Lo and sit there....without getting out, just because it felt good to sit. And sometimes I COULDN'T get out. And sometimes I could and there would pass a truck with two ladies in it and one would yell, "Hey la-dee! We can't help but admire yo belly!" To which I would smile, grab my belly and say, "ADMIRE?! How can you MISS it, it's HUGE!"

Or that I didn't make Brooks drive me to get a Cookie Monster from Cheddar's in "take-out" style since my belly didn't fit in a booth.

Come to think of it, we went out on a LOT of dates those last three weeks. Probably at least three nights a week we would sneak away. I loved every minute.

Or when strangers in the store or people I knew came up and said, "I just can't help it but I have to touch your belly." Then I would just say, "Well, if you touch it, you have to start SCRATCHING it too!"

Friday and Saturday Brooks and I spent packing things up .....  Let me re-phrase that..... Brooks was packing and I was pointing where things go and bossing around.......and watching Brooks load all our laundry up to take to a laundromat since our dryer broke.
 It was like my family was living with a physical and emotional ticking time-bomb. 

Like on Saturday when Brooks sent me upstairs to go lie down for a nap and then I came down in the laundry room and started losing it about our washer and dryer being broken, and I'm not helping pack as much, and someone drank my Powerade and I was just tired and how I couldn't find my favorite shirt and my body just hurt and I didn't start dinner and I'm sorry he was doing everything, blah blah blah. Little did I know Emerson had walked in and witnessed my meltdown. Brooks just took my shoulders and said, "Honey, I have it all under control, don't worry, now go back up and lay down." I guess after I walked out Emerson said,

"Dad, why was mom crying? None of that even made any sense!"

"Emerson, you will learn when you get married, that sometimes women just cry......"
And then I missed the rest of the conversation.

#importantlifelessons 

I was also promised in a blessing that the baby would engage correctly and my mind would also be enlightened as to ways I could help.

Then came Sunday....May 22nd and quite honestly I NEEDED the babies to come. I went for an old trusty dosage of castor oil again.
DOWN THE HATCH!

I went to church and smiled at all the sympathetic looks and then came home to lay down. Only to find out Aleeya had invited someone over for dinner.  Which is fine, it's someone that would come over almost every Sunday anyway, but I wasn't feeling up for much of anything.
I woke up and felt refreshed and decided that night was a good night to have me some babies. Some mild contractions from the 2 doses of castor oil but nothing too hard. While Brooks and Bronson went Home Teaching I tried me some accupressure points to help the baby engage more. Not sure if that stuff works or not, but I DID make some amazing bruises.

I also took another cervical softening pill.

And then went to go try me some "Curb Appeal" action.

I read that if you needed the baby to shift a certain way (and I did) to go walk along a curb with one foot up and one foot down.....yes, like a 3 year old..... to help open the pelvis and help the baby shift. 

#whattheheck 

So I walked down to a church that had a curb and made a complete fool of myself.....for a while.

and completely worked ONE quad muscle.

Why not add it to all my other achy muscles.

By the time I got home (5 pm-ish) Brooks and kids had finished making dinner, our guest had arrived and I was having full out contractions. I didn't feel like eating OR socializing and all I could think of was "I need to keep these contractions going". But before I did I hurried and made the orange julius (we have them every Sunday) but couldn't walk in to serve it up. I knew labor was starting but not sure if this was gonna keep going or not and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I didn't have enough cups to put the orange julius in. Brooks looked in and saw my eyes water over the cups issue and said, "Melissa, I got this" and I walked out, only to quarantine myself to my room to do whatever I could to keep those hum-dingers coming. 

I won't go into all the ridiculous positions and exercises I did....in fact, that would be embarrassing had a camera been in that room, but let's just say, I kept them coming.

Our guest left and Brooks got the kids in bed at 8:30. I made him check to see if I had made any progress.The good news was, the head was well centered and engaged! However it was still high up and I was only at a "maybe" 4.

We decided to take a walk together. And enjoyed that time.....oh wait. Never mind, we walked TWO houses down the road when a huge pain just zinged up my back and stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't move and I immediately felt like I was gonna puke. Brooks tried to help me back home but I couldn't move, so he went to grab the car and pick me up. I know our neighbors make it a sport to just watch my family out their windows anyway, but I kept hoping no one was noticing me at that moment.
I felt a tad better after 20 minutes but still had that one spot in my back that worried me.

I kept bouncing on my ball and doing my thing and at 10:30 we called the midwife just so she could check before she went to bed and decide if she wanted to call the other midwife to come down (she lived a hour away) now or later. Ruth (the midwife) checked me and I was a 4/5 with the head still high up....but centered. 

I was told I WAS in labor (THAT'S a BIG FAT "DUH!") but it was going to be a while too.

She left and said, let her know when I was at a 6 or 7.

I looked at Brooks just defeated. I was working so hard and didn't know if I could go on. I felt like marching myself over to the hospital and saying, "knock me out and just cut out the babies". Then Brooks did what he did best and calmed me down and said, "Why don't you try relaxing in the birth pool". So that's what I did. I turned out the lights, lit a candle and enjoyed the privacy that only a home birth can give. I was so glad I was by myself. 

Then I started feeling more pressure and things were more painful. After kicking Brooks OUT of the room, it was then that I NEEDED him back. (I'm fickle when in labor). And I needed a cold rag, and more water to drink, then I needed hot water in the tub, and then the fan on, and then, 

"Honey, I think my water broke!"

"Are you sure you didn't just pee?"

"YES! Because it FEELS warm!"

(Thankfully he had the sense NOT to state the obvious and trusted me my water broke)

Then things got going hard and fast. I got to the whole frantic stage (Transition) when it hurts. Like a lot.... I could tell the birth pool DID make it better for me (like 10 times better then last time when I was on our bed) but Brooks still had to calm me down and breath slower (and do all my honey-dos). I felt my body pushing. Between contractions I actually felt calm. Brooks texted the midwife. I felt down there and could feel the head still up maybe a an inch but it was coming. 

Then the midwife texted and said she was here and Brooks had to go let her in. I told him I felt the head....but I was also saying a bunch of other things I don't remember. While they were still walking down the hallway (around midnight) and coming in the door I remember yelling,
"HEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!"
and next thing I know my hand was bringing up a whole baby!
(I actually wanted to deliver my own baby, so it worked out) I don't think I really knew WHAT to feel at that moment since the emotions were TO THE MAX. Relief, Shock, Love, Surprise and a whole lot of ugly cries. Brooks seemed to capture the most (not-so) lovely picture of me after Wynn was born....but I love it because it was exactly what that moment was to me.

She was just so perfect. And we had just done something pretty awesome together.....just Wynn and me. The midwife and Brooks were busy clamping chords to ensure the second baby still was getting nutrients and I think the midwife was feeling the position of the next baby. I can't remember, all I could focus on was the baby..... little Wynn.

They asked if I wanted them to take her and of course the answer was always NO!

Then I felt my belly tense up and I said, "Okay, take the baby FAST!"

I put my hand under the water just in time for my body to expel the second baby under the water and I raised her to the top where Brooks grabbed her out to hand her to me.

(they weren't kidding about the 2nd baby coming out easier!)

Here is our little 2nd bundle of yumminess.

I was told twin moms sometimes bleed more after birth and needed to be monitored so I had to get out of the pool to deliver the placenta..... all I wanted to do was relax in the water, but with their help I got up on my shakey legs and climbed out.

These two beauties were waiting over on the bed.

(Wynn is on the right)

I for one am grossed out by placentas and have PURPOSELY never wanted to look at them. This one came out without me doing a thing and the midwife and Brooks just looked at it. Brooks having his fair share of placenta-disecting in his Pathology training looked at it and said, "That's one of the biggest placenta I have ever seen." The midwife was talking about how "beautiful" it was.

I decided to leave the placenta-loving-party and went to go lay down with my girls. 

My first time holding them together. Probably one of the best moments of my life!

Holding these ladies helped me not focus on the uterus massaging that I HATE that they do on me after giving birth.

What I DIDN'T realize is the moment that I yelled "HEEEEEEAD" and Wynn was born that I had awakened Kellyn. I guess she came in and said to me after, "How come you were crying in the pool holding the baby?" 

3 of my favorites. 

I get teary-eyed looking at this and the support Brooks was and is to me. He is like the ultimate MD, doula, "mid-husband" and birth-cleaner-upper (that's a real title, I'm sure of it).

Plus, I think it's funny the bottom part of his shirt is covered and all you see is "Fear the..." and then the twins.

Ruth and Brooks

(the other midwife didn't make it in time and truth be told I was glad it was just me and Brooks all through labor right up to the first baby emerging. )

The babies were measured, footprints taken and names asked for the birth certificate. We knew Wynn would be the first baby  but Brooks quickly answered that we weren't sure on the name of the second one.... as of one week before they were born he decided he didn't like that already-picked-out name.  Then we "discussed" the time of births and looking at when pictures were taken to figure out exactly. It all happened pretty fast.

Everything was cleaned up, pool drained and me showered with babies ready for bed around 2 a.m. Here they are snuggling before I turned out the lights.

Wynn on the right and "Unknown" (at that time) on the left with her chubby, yummy cheeks.

My heart was full. Kind of to the level of bursting but with the calmest feeling ever. 

Happy, content, fulfilled and humbled don't seem to describe my feelings as I looked at the angelic faces of my girls. All you can do at moments like this is whisper a grateful "thank you" up to heaven for the privilege.

We all slept until after 5 in the morning..... probably the longest and best I've slept in MONTHS.

Won't their siblings be so surprised and excited to wake up to new sisters........